I’m so unimportantly important.
Or is it importantly unimportant?
Either way, I’m in a portent,
And perhaps that may be good.
Or per chance could it be bad?
These contradictions can make me awfully mad.
Damned if I am, or damned if I’m not?
Or is it blessed that I am what I am?
Should the universe be so kind as to provide a hint?
Maybe my whole life has been a hint,
each day offered as another chance to get it.
Or maybe I already get it?
Some say ignorance is bliss, and
I in my ignorance blissfully agree.
It’s easy to trust that the truth will come–
that scares the shit out of me.
Do I really want to know the truth?
To shatter my ignorance in a single moment,
with truth so pure it tastes like a lie?
Is this really what I want?
No.
Yes?
Maybe…
Another item added to the list of “I don’t knows.”
I used to be very lonely,
and always afraid of the dark.
I used to have bad night terrors,
of frightful monsters lurking near.
Their breath held the stench of my fear.
As a child, I always fed them,
while cowering under the sheets.
That is when I learned to escape.
At night, while lying in my bed,
I would lift off, crash through ceiling,
after ceiling, after ceiling,
through to the top of the building,
until I was held high above
by stray gusts; watched by blinking stars.
I would find solace in the breeze,
so high no creature could reach me
but the birds and mighty dragons.
The din from the streets below would
sing their ghetto lullaby, and
the moon would gently tuck me in.
And then, as I drift off to sleep,
the bed would slowly descend; down
through the top of the building, down
through ceiling after ceiling, and
finally back into my room.
The fear of night ignored… for now.
It’s like being trapped in a cage, with a lion.
It’s like your heart will stop at any moment.
It’s like your lungs will refuse any more air.
It’s like your mind is losing track of itself.
It’s like your body is trying to shut down.
It’s like you want to run, but your legs won’t move.
And there is no cage, and there is no lion.
There’s only you.
